So there's this new book out called She Wants a Ring -- and I Don't Wanna Change a Thing: How a Man Can Overcome His Fears of Commitment and Marriage.
Right up there with He's Just Not That Into You and Its Called a Break-up Because Its Broken. The first of which became my Bible after the 'divorce' (but thats another post for another time).
Well, anyway, this author has set out to explain the great mystery of why men are so anti-marraige. He offers help to commitment-phobes and also tries to explain to women the reasoning behind it.
Here is what he calls the Ten Things Men Fear Most About Marraige:
1. The life sentence: "For better or worse." (Clank! Cell door shut!)
2. Giving up that dream of tasting the fruits of all nations (flitting from woman to woman in a glorious bath of love and lust).
3. The "What If?" complex (as in, What if I fall even more in love with another woman?).
4. Divorce (as in betting on a loser).
5. Replicating his parents' failed marriage. (Or replicating his parents' happy marriage -- and one day calling his wife "Angel," "Sugarplum" or "Darl.")
6. Surrendering his post as president and CEO of the firm Fun. Then having to answer to a board of directors in a firm called Compromise, fully knowing every decision can come under killjoy scrutiny.
7. Becoming an active member in the Tamed Husband fraternity.
8. The Blah Life (boredom, overfamiliarity, and routine).
9. Surrendering quiet, control, space, privacy, watching ESPN all night, poker and suds with the guys, cigar breath, stinky sneakers ...
10. Giving up Erotic Break-the-Guest-Room-Fold-out-Couch Sex for Regulated You-Do-This, I-Do-That, Now-Let's-Sleep Sex.
Now, don't get me wrong, some of those things are what scares ME about marraige, but it doesn't prevent me from wanting it. I think that if two people can agree to NOT let those fears come to fruition and work damn hard at doing it then a marraige can be a beautiful thing. Relationships take work - there is nothing easy in this world and love is certainly NO exception.
I have NOT read this book, just an excerpt Lena sent me from iVillage or Oxygen or some other girly site. It is also NOT in my shopping cart at Amazon. I have my own issues & insecurities and 300 pages of witty comments and dry anecdotes on a somewhat serious subject certainly aren't going to help them.