Thursday, June 15, 2006

The water works have begun...

Had my second OB appointment today. It was quite uneventful but for some reason – upset me terribly.
First: the doc wouldn’t try to hear the heartbeat because she said its still too early to hear it in the office. Okay. Fine. No heartbeat today. I was disappointed but, hey – shit happens.
Second: she can’t really answer my questions about my vitamins and kind of gives me the run-around about it. She talked an awful lot but didn’t say a whole bunch. I left there more confused about my vitamins than I was when I got there.
Third: she starts talking about genetic testing. When & what needs to be done or can be done and if I decide to do it. She starts saying that if I decide to do it that it should be done early because terminating the pregnancy is less risky at that point, yadda, yadda, yadda. Wait. What? Terminate what? Huh? When did this come up? Now, granted, I was already a little upset about the heartbeat thing so I probably didn’t hear EVERYTHING she said. Corey could probably clarify that it wasn’t as bad as I thought and I was practicing selective listening. I’m good at that.
So, now I leave the OB – say goodbye to my love and head to Stop & Shop where I spend 20 bucks on crap. Chips, cookies, crap. Just what I need.
OH…that’s another thing I’ve forgotten. I also gained five pounds. Great. I know its supposed to be a good thing to gain a little weight during pregnancy, but I don’t know if I’m emotionally prepared for that part. C’mon – think about it. All that crap I went through to LOSE the weight – now I’m gaining it back. Sigh.
Okay – so now I’m at work. A big ball of emotion. Can’t stop crying. Tears streaming down my face as I sit at my desk. No one’s talking to me – they know better. So what does one of my lovely co-workers do? Show me a picture from the Christmas party a few years ago where…you guessed it…I’m fat. Thanks. Just what I needed. Thanks.
I feel like I’m pms-ing. Its strange. I don’t feel pregnant. That’s a whole other problem. I know I’m just hormonal and I guess this should be expected. I’m just bitchy & weepy. Please excuse me and my sniffly nose.

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